In the strange times of 2020 we don’t have to look far to read all about the things so many people are achieving outside their old routines – ranging from art & crafts, exercise, baking, home décor, gardening, or musical, linguistic or health related accomplishments.
At a recent catch up to discuss the various coping mechanisms to get through the current living and working restrictions caused by the pandemic, the sheer variety was almost overwhelming.
It is not surprising that a dozen or so individuals who didn’t previously know each other, are doing a huge variety of different jobs, working in different places, and at different stages of their lives – would all find different ways of de-stressing.
But what was noticeable was that one person’s ‘coping mechanism’ could quickly fuel another person’s sense of inadequacy, and that this doesn’t need to be the case when there’s such a range of ways we can find to make ourselves feel happier.
Read on for some ideas – it may just prompt you to realise some unexpected or unplanned good things you’ve managed to do over the past 9 months – without even consciously realising. Or, you could give yourself a huge pat on the back for keeping things the same – in the modern media driven world, sameness is under-rated.
Getting outside and observing nature has been a recurring theme I’m sure we have all picked up– and this was also echoed up by the Mental Health First Aiders including the healing powers of a brisk walk by the sea, or just spending some quiet time gardening or going for a peaceful walk.
There was a big exercise theme – even from some who admitted they were not particularly active during normal times and there was some reflection about just how much exercise can profoundly influence moods – even (or perhaps especially) from those not at all used to it. Too busy? One was finding a novel way to do the school run, scooting her son to school.
Dogs (lots of them) – pets often seem to pick up how we are feeling and the healing powers of giving them a stroke (or taking them for a walk) are well known.
Music Some were picking up new (or old) musical instruments and giving them a go, or just listening to calming (or energetic) music – this can be a really powerful mood changer – though do think of those you share a space with too – I think if I picked up the violin again I’m not sure I’d be improving things for anybody else.
Some are taking comfort in food – preparing and eating homely recipes which wouldn’t normally be so possible. Food can get a bad wrap …. but focusing on it in a positive way can lift your spirits and improve your health.
Building relationships with friends and family, including MVDC colleagues was also something of a talking point with one saying that they had not expected to find colleagues becoming new friends through this experience – extending work catch ups into more informal chats. Good relationships make life more pleasant for most of us.
One of our group had been on a trip to the Maldives! (Or at least he had done so in his imagination anyway – via virtual reality headsets). What a great way to avoid quarantine or travel delays, and no doubt a good deal cheaper too.
Brushing up with books One person said they felt they had been ‘late to the party’ with making any changes to their lives, having read so much about what others were doing and feeling bad about this. The second lockdown had spurred her into learning French.
But this prompted another to say they had not made any changes at all during this period, and that this was deliberate. But what she felt this had given her was the ability to get closer to her children.
There was also a general discussion about reducing or avoiding social media and limiting exposure to the news. A good tip was not to listen just before sleep, with the constant focus on negatives it doesn’t make the best bedtime story.
One said she was starting her day every day with a cold shower – apparently there are recognised mental health benefits of this! (See here for details)
Another said he felt he was filling his life with activities just because he had more time on his hands, and actively didn’t want this to be a permanent feature.
For some, keeping familiar habits and routines provides more comfort, whilst others are keen to add a bit of variety into a day that is otherwise too similar to other days.
Avoid putting pressure on yourself to try things because you feel you should. There are no ‘shoulds’ in this situation. We are all finding our own unique ways of getting through this strange experience, and we all need to remember that the most important thing of all is to be kind to ourselves. If we are kind to ourselves, we can be kind to others. Being self-critical so often leads to placing additional pressures on everyone around us too.
So the learning that came from this was to underline how important it is to recognise we are all unique, and there was a key message the Mental Health First Aiders asked me to share with you:
Find out what works for you and be kind to yourself.
We may all be in the same ocean, but our boats are all different shapes and sizes. Don’t forget we’re here for you – We have 12 members of staff trained as Mental Health First Aiders. Here are their names, photographs, a very short biography and details of what they can do for you.