Empathy is a powerful way of demonstrating you have listened to and understand the customer’s point of view. It is important to remember to show empathy both over the phone (or in person) and when you respond to an email or letter. Below are some top tips about empathy and some handy phrases to show empathy when writing to a customer:
Top Tips
- Remember empathy, not sympathy (no pity)
- Put yourself in the customer’s shoes and consider how you would feel in that situation
- Avoid technical language (unless you are writing business-to-business)
- Be human
- Remember the customer is expressing how they felt at that moment – even if it is not what you might expect
- Reflect back the language the customer has used – so if they have said they were distressed, say “I understand that you have felt distressed by this etc…”
- It is important that the customer feels heard
- It is ok to say you are sorry they feel the way that they do
- Avoid ‘but’ or ‘however’ or ‘unfortunately’
- Move on to what you can do, even if it is to direct the customer elsewhere
Handy phrases
I understand from your email that this has been upsetting/difficult/distressing for you…
Thank you for explaining…….
It is clear from your email that you have had a difficult few weeks/months…
I can appreciate from what you have told me that this is a really challenging time for you…
I am sorry for your loss.
I can see how frustrating this has been for you. I can help by…
I appreciate how difficult it is to…
Thank you for your patience…
Moving on…
Once you have expressed empathy you need to move forward to what you can do to help. Often an apology is a good way to start (though not essential).
Sometimes you might want to explain why something has or hasn’t happened, or why you can’t help.
Avoid using ‘but’ or ‘unfortunately’ – sometimes a full stop is all you need. For instance “I understand from your email that you do not believe that you should pay the fine. This is not the case as…” One exception would be if you wanted to use the word ‘unfortunate’ in this context: “It is unfortunate that your email was overlooked and I apologise for this”.
Here are some useful phrases for how to apologise and then move on:
- I am so sorry that you have felt upset/distressed/angry by xxx/what has happened. It may be helpful if I explain….
- I am so sorry that you have felt upset/distress/angry by xxx/what has happened. As you have already explained that…..the next step will be…..
- I am so sorry that you have felt upset/distressed/angry by xxx/what has happened. While this is not something I/MVDC can help with, may I suggest that you…
For persistent emailers
This is more tricky as there will be times where you just need time to deal with the enquiry. It is fine to give a date by which you will reply as long as you stick to it (even if you have to say you need more time at that point). Be realistic with any timescales you set.
In these circumstances, you could try:
Thank you for your further email and for explaining how this has made you feel. In order for me to have time to look into this please may I ask that you refrain from sending any more emails about this for the next 3 days/5 days/week. This will give me some time to look into this further. I will contact you on xxxxxxx with an update…
Please can I ask that you now allow me the time to deal with this matter. I have advised you that we currently have a 2 week/3 week/4 week turnaround time and I will be in touch then…
I appreciate that this is an urgent matter and in order for me to have the time to deal with it as quickly as possible it would be helpful if you could refrain from emailing me further about this. I will respond to you by xxxxxx. Thank you for you understanding.